When Are You Getting Married?
I was talking to a friend and the subject of marriage came up. I can’t remember what lead up to the marriage talk but her response got me rolling on the floor and laughing. Let me share her response with you all.
She said, “Quite frankly, the institution of marriage is one that I never really think about a lot even though I am at an age where the pressure from society and family demands that I show the man who is to be called husband/ son-in-law.
Interestingly, this man is expected very capable in all ramifications to be considered worthy most especially in the eyes of my family. It appears riches is considered more imperative than happiness, compatibility, and character when it involves marriage in most African societies and families.
Again, I am not directly implying that money is not one of the major factors to be discussed because in all honesty a certain level of money is needed for a marriage to thrive smoothly irrespective of the challenges to be met along the way.
However, in a situation whereby it is the only focus then it places the marriage in jeopardy even before both parties join hands together to start a journey that is filled with the fear and joy of the unknown.
Marriage is beautiful. Having to deal with the pressure from one’s family and the society has turned it into a chronic bronchitis that can only be managed from time to time. If you have ever being diagnosed with chronic bronchitis then you clearly understand how the constant pressure has succeeded in establishing fear in my heart.
People will always be people and parents will always be parents. Just before you decide to put someone under pressure, please consider the long-term effect it has on the mind of that person. Not everybody can handle certain pressures such as that of marriage.
It is one thing to put pressure on a woman to get married, and it is another thing to know how to apply that pressure with wisdom because it is not worth the stress if it becomes a chronic bronchitis that she has to manage for the rest of her life. EVERY WOMAN’S TIME IS DIFFERENT.”
I still can’t get over the comparison of pressure to get married with chronic bronchitis. So please mommies, uncles, brothers, sisters and aunties don’t put pressure on anyone to marry. Don’t give anyone bronchitis because you want them to marry first thing tomorrow morning.
If you can relate to her story, share in the comment section.